LiFe Of aN OraNgefiSH

i still remember when i was 15..i attended my friend's birthday.
and that girl was the girl that i admired for 3 years. i still can remember how we met.
we chat throught IRC and we agreed to meet. that night we went to eat and we chat through the night. its was a never ending happy night for me. her surname is Soon. very special surname to me. because she is the only one who has the different surname than others, so i can remember her name even until now.

one day i saw her at shopping mall. at first i thought she was alone, but i saw another guy was walking beside her. and i know that that guy. he looks so familiar. finally i get to know that guy was my friend. my teammate. why teammate? because i used to play bowling with him. hmm.

so, after that i know that guy like her too. and they went out everyday. sometimes she rejected my phone call too. it makes me dont know what to do. and finally her birthday reaching, and i was being invited to her party. so it was at pizza hut. i reached and pass her the present. i sit down with my friends, waiting for the food. quietly and wordless. nothing comes in my mind. my mind was blank.

i do talk, not from mouth. but from my handphone. we sms. what the fuck. eventhough we are sitting around at the same table. but we rather sms than talk to each other. she scare that guy will angry. i was like, what the fuck? its not fun ok. after that we went to watch movie. i was beside her, of course. and well, that guy was beside her too. im on the left, he on her right.

we are watching a movie named The Ring, it was a japanese movie. a horror movie. and it was damn suitable for couple especially for those girl who so scare of watching horror movie. everything was ok except after 30 mins, i saw that guy and that girl was kissing just beside me. what the fuck? i got nothing to say, and it was a horror movie, NOT A ROMANCE MOVIE! what the hell. ok i know this sounds funny but sorry, its not funny. because im the one who being hurted, not you. but i dont know why, why i dont feel angry or something for what they had done, in front of me!

i dont even know they actually..so fast?! ok, but im still waiting for 2 more years until im tired of it. five years in total. cool rite? its not cool, its fool. and im the fool. well, to me, i felt im contented, because...she is the first girl that i fallen for.


people once said, make sure he/she found their own happiness if you love them.
love someone doesnt means that you must be together with he/she.
ones need to learn to accept or let go if ones love them.
what yours is yours, but no matter what you do, what not yours will never be yours.

this is how i learn.
but still...its very difficult...